off for the weekend so i thought i should put this up in case there were some chance of getting mail.
camp has been good minus a few spot (kids bed wetting or shitting themselves or crying about nothing) orientation was really good (learned to juggle and ran into a few people from middle school). other than that nohing new besides the move. out for another month maybe? jordan
Damnit Damnit Damnit. In 12 hours I will begin to get ready to walk and it is truely scaring the shit out of me. I have so many fears and insecurities about myself and I will be forced to deal with them sooner rather than later. I will be moving out of my house for good in 29 hours. How the hell can I take care of myself when I have such a hard time expressing myself safely and the way it should come out? Nothing I ever say comes out the way I want it to nor does anything go like it should. Now I have to worry about growing up on top of all of that? Should I just expect my life to be one big misfortunate event after another untill I die? If thats so, maybe I should just say fuck it to college and get a job at burger king and waste away there. Sorry - paranoia is a side affect of the drugs im on for insomnia which if you can tell by the time of this entry ARE NOT working. Anyways, in a summary I'm afriad of growing up. I screw up too often that I dont trust my decision making. I mean.... what if I chose the wrong major? Am i the only one who is kept up at night with these thoughts? Also, since in all likeliness nobody will be able to reach me over the summer since I will be in Orlando currupting the minds of children here is my address so if by any chance anybody is bored you can write me and most likely recieve a responce (cuz who doesnt like mail?) Jordan Webster 221 S. Binion Rd. Apopka, Fl 32703 Finally a queestion... how many people are graduating at SMSH? I know we walked in with over 1000 freshmen year.
It's been a while since I have last updated. I work an average of 47 hours a week so needless to say i dont have much time to update/read/sleep/eat. I have dropped 15 pounds since I have started working (at a resteraunt... does that make sense?). I skipped the whole prom thing even though I had been invited by 2 different girls and one which I liked. She asked me on one of those days where I just didnt want to talk at all to anybody. I dont really regret it. I also skipped my prom at my old school. Alana asked me but I couldnt go due to work. It would have been fun going, but I went the year before and the actual prom part sucks... its the after parties that are awesome. Cliff died last Wed., I guess I dont feel as bad as I did when Ana died in 9th grade even though I knew him and not her. This could be the fact that it was his fault, he shouldnt have been driving drunk. Does that make me insensitive for saying that? I need my Xanax back. Now not only do I have problems sleeping, but I get anxiety attacks and they are becoming more and more frequent. It seems to happen when I think about the whole college thing. I know I'm going to FSU, but it is coming up so soon its kinda scary. Also, working at camp starts in 2 weeks from Saturday. Holy shit, it is 2 weeks from my new life again. Why is this one making me anxious? I think it might be that I have to choose my career and my livelyhood and what i want to do with my life in the next few years. I don't think I'm mature enough to make these types of decisions. I don't want to grow up just yet. I really dont even fully know who I am yet. My mom called me yesterday from Tampa to tell me we bought a house. They spent more money on this one than we had sold this one for. I swear, my parents wont ever be able to retire. Every time we move they have to spend more and more money on the houses. My dad took the job in Atlanta and got a raise so it wasnt too bad even though he bought this house for $50000 more than we sold our last house. Now we sold this house and bought the new one and that one is ANOTHER $50000 more. I don't know where he's getting this money from especially since he is taking a pay cut. Maybe he is selling drugs? lol. I'll post pictures later. I talked to Angie on the phone last night for about an hour. It was funny as hell. She is just like she was in 8th grade. She even sounds the same. She is going to FSU too, so now I know like 6 people who are going there next year, including my ex girlfriend Mamie, and Paul. I hope we don't go do something too stupid and get kicked out. My mom told him we cant go blowing things up when we get there. So of course he told her we would go off campus for that. God I miss that kid. I got a new toy! I don't know how it is in Miami, but here, EVERYBODY has an Ipod. Me, I decided to buy myself a toy since I work so much. I bought This Its kinda like an I pod but only this also plays movies and stored pictures and shit too. I got it at a good price too. Thats about it. I took my AP stat test today, and most likely failed it (2). Who cares? I am already in college plus I don't want to be a statician. Summary: I can't wait for the day I graduate, yet I also fear it. I got a new house and lost my current one. I got a new job but have to quit my current one soon. I miss my old friends and will soon be missing my new ones too. I dont want to grow up but Im going to have to, and finally... I got a new toy, and its better than yours.
This week has been a very full one. I got my acceptance to work at camp wewa, a camp i grew up going to... and when filling out the paperwork i realized living in georgia fuck shit up again but i have it worked out. I started to look foward to the week of graduation and i realized a few things: for one it is VERY close. I cant wait. it will be such a relief to finally graduate and get that part of my life over with second is that week will be INSANELY crazy. not only do i have to graduate i have job training and orientation, both of which are in florida. The saturday and sunday i will be in orlando training for the position i will hold the whole summer as a Jr. Counselor. (funny that a jew will be working at a YMCA camp). then wed. and thrus. i have orientation in tallahassee. The friday i graduate. Saturday i leave for orlando again, never to return to this horrible and hypocritical christian morally driven forsaken place. the bad part of all this beside the endless driving and probable lack of sleep is i will miss graduation practice, which myself, i think is completely ridiculous. i can walk in line just fine, just point me to where i am supposed to go line up and i will be fine. but according to a few teachers and a many students, the ap who is in charge of all of this is a super prick and VERY strict about this shit. so now i have to arrange a meeting with the principle or the ap to see if i can get excused so i can goto college orientation. if he says no, i cant walk. how gay. if that happens 1 i will have my mom go talk to him (my mom can be very intimidating for a 5"3 woman) and 2 i will wish nothing but the worst on him (plus hes an ohio state grad.... cheating bastards.) speaking of which... maybe it means i can pay him off... they did it to the refs. anyways my cousin who is now n airforce pilot came and slept here last night, i didnt get to chill with him much when we were growing up, so this was different since were both grown up (him alot more than me) and it was fun. then i didnt goto school cuz i had a headache this morning. i got to sleep until 1, it was heavenly. thats all that i can think of.
J.J.: is it a good sign if a girl is layin on top of while watchin a movie n says "i feel like ur my dad" ME: ...well you DO live in alabama.... J.J.: haha no this was in pensacola J.J.: but screw u newayz haha ME: oh... then no
i got a razor in the mail from gillette today: a mach 3 turbo ...i think they sent it to spite me because of my inability to grow facial hair ...assholes
today, i realized ive actually matured... instead of saying i wish someone i dont like dies i now just say i hope they get knocked up and the babys daddy leaves them and their parents kick them out the house
had some1 told me 4 years ago i was goin gto make it to 18 i would have laughed at them especially if they said i would be in georgia for it. so now that i have reached it i guess i should count everyday as a blessing for now on since ive already surpassed my expectancies. ( since thats all i can think of let me thank a few people from my last 18 years: )
ok, so i decided to let the hickey slide but not without the warning that if i catch her fucking up again like that or shit like it i would tell mom and dad. ( ...and then she goes off and fucks up )
i dunno i have a little sister who isnt so little anymore shes 16 and now all into the whole dating bullshit and if any of you guys have a little sister maybe you know how i feel but this little bitch i have for a sister has the maturity of ... well ill go with a 12 year old to be safe and shes doing stupid shit already she meets some guy... hes cool but he also thinks alot like i do, which is what scares me, and withing 2 weeks? of meeting him shes coming home late and having a
big
fuckin hickie on her neck and her little friends are telling me to butt out, this is the same little friend i had to explain why i want to work at an abortion clinic to, so anyways these 2 go off and hook up with their boyfriends or w/e coming home past 1 both with hickies i dont give a fuck what caylynn does cuz thats her problem but i dont want my sister doing the same stupid shit i did and i know how the majority of guys think seeing as i am one but my fuckin retarded parents are letting her stay out until one or later at this kids house i dunno what to do slap the shit out of her and tell the parentals or just let it slide since i did the shit too.... any opinions here would help unless your one of the 2 parties involved... i.e. caylynn or kylie
I drowned Elian: when i grow up.... V A N E siita: i want to marry rich, travel, and have kids I drowned Elian: can i marry u? I drowned Elian: i can promise the kids part!
i hate ticks they are a nasty species and they itch like crazy ive had 2... one on the sac after i got a new dog from the pound in like 2nd grade and another on my leg after i got my newest dog from the pound and i know it drives my dogs crazy and they havent had them for a while but today i found one on my dogs ear but it wasnt one of the small ones nooooooo its was a fucker that looks like a grape so i go looking for matches and cant find any of course so i took a lighter and held it upside down for a few seconds while lit all that did was transfer wax so i got some toilet paper and yanked the fucker off there carefully as though not to squish the fucker because i wanted revenge but i wanted it without the mess of dog blood everywhere so i got it off and wrapped it in paper then i wrapped it some more and went to the bathroom i then proceeded to light it on fire to cremate the sonovabitch then drop it in the toilet and piss on it to finish off the fire fuck with my dogs a again.... bastards
ps i got invited to a sadie hawkins dance but its on a day that is a bad omen day the day my grandma died still deciding wether or not to go
so im back in georgia now for a lil while now and i figure its time for an update i had a lot of fun at the jew convention and then even more fun in miami it made my break to see everyone so thank you for taking time out of your lives to see me it meant the world to me for christmicah i got a ton of shit for college which im not allowed to touch until then and a flat screen monitor for my computer and clothes umm what else? i got a fish! his name was first "fish" then my mom complained about the lack of creativity put into it so i changed it to dog when she complained about the effect it would have on its selfesteem i changed to "shark" to boost it and so it remains being called shark i found out im moving to tampa this summer well not me unless i dont get into any college but ill be in florida regardless school is str8 now i hate the people for the most part but i can stand it for less than 5 months i have psychology.... i took it because i thought it would be an easy course due to the fact i have 2 social workers for parents and my dad runs a psych unit but the teacher insists on giving tons of bullshit work and wastes a lot of time with shit that is totally unneccesarry ahh well my car died today on the way to school it turned into a giant go kart.... or at least sounded like one piece of shit i also started weight lifting again... my partner is this reall cool kid who is gigantic.... fuckin lil beast hes a pro wakeboarder too http://www.wakepics.com/media/Brettlee2.wmv if u wanna check him out (right click and hit save as) hes gonna make me lift hard so i should get in shape for summer? hrmmmm what else? oh! i turned down sex because of this girl who refused to stop smoking cigarettes for 1 night i hate the taste of cigarettes it makes my chest hurt for some reason... allergys? i have 1 class to pass and im finished with school.... english and i have like a 89 in it speaking of english if your still reading this shit we watched this movie and the guy who was playing henry VIII used the greatest pickup line ever "i want to play dog and bitch, and ride you like a horse does a mare, and fill you up night in and night out..." i fell out of my seat when he said that shit oh man my web design class is now on our 3rd teacher this year and today while introducing ourselves i mixed up my likes and dislikes.... "i like moving EVERY YEAR of my highschool career, and my car dying and my life... damn got that mixed up .... sorry i hate those" yea that was fun my likes were "i enjoy long walks on the beach, picnics in parks, rainbows and wearing fuzzy pink bunny slippers" i now need a job to pay for my car to get fixed unless one of you wants to send me $600 in the mail any donations? off to bullshit psych homework now fuckers
since i have deemed my assholish accomplishments award worthy i made this. and for now on i will hand it out when i feel you DESERVE it. This is an accomplishment not a bad thing... be proud... you asshole
or if you have a person who really deserves it you can give it to them with this one so you dont have to worry about names
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
idrownedelian's journal
confused
thoughtful
complacent
enthralled
bored
devious
distressed
crazy
artistic
